A dog saves the day

A dog might prove to be the unlikeliest saviour of Formula 1, a sport that is direly in need of saving . Bravo India, for unwittingly pointing the way ahead for the sport.

Today is the first ever Indian Grand Prix - held at Noida, at the Buddh circuit, just off Delhi. Why it has come up in Delhi is a mystery - the racing capital (of whatever racing there is) of India is Chennai or Coimbatore. But Delhi it is. This is the fag end of the Formula 1 season; the championship is already decided and there is very little to drive for. But then Bernie Eccleston, the boss of F1, has grasped that the future of the sport  depends on the growing audience in Asia - that's why in the last three or four years, new Grand Prixs have come up in Beijing, Singapore, Bahrain, Abu Dhabi, Istanbul (almost Asia !), Yeongam (Korea) ; to add to the more traditional Asian venues Suzuka (Japan) and Sepang (Malaysia). Now India.

Formula 1 has become a bore. The results are completely predictable; superb safety measures have ensured that there are far fewer crashes and  rules are changed every 15 days until nobody knows what they are.  There are no more flamboyant personalities of the likes of Ayrton Senna - today's drivers are more technical automatons. Even the pretty girls hanging around in skimpy clothes seem to be rather muted. I haven't watched a Formula 1 race for the last two seasons - its become that boring. When a sports nut like me does that, there is something seriously wrong with the sport.

India might offer the redemption. On the first practice session on Friday, a dog ran on to the track and the session had to be stopped for some 20 minutes. This was the most happening thing that day - the rest of it was predictably boring. Now, any Indian knows that a car tyre is irresistible to a dog.  In some cases, it is even irresistible to humans, but we shall let that pass.

So here are some very Indian ideas to make the sport hugely more exciting and get the fans back

• Introduce the Indian cow (preferably with a calf) to roam the circuit at random
• Two wheelers featuring two types of Indian drivers must be in the circuit - the rambo who thinks he's Rajnikanth (or whoever) and revs up his pitiful 85cc mobike and tries to do a wheelie or the uncle and aunty (100 kgs each) with three kids on a wobbly moped.
• The tractor who comes in the opposite direction to the racing  with headlights on 
• The overladen truck who is parked right in the middle of the fastest section of the track, camouflaged to be invisible. For good effect a small branch with four leaves can be placed 10 metres behind as a warning.
• One giant crater right in the middle of the first corner (measurements - 1 ft by 4 ft and at least 2ft deep)
• Four completely invisible speed breakers that will hit the underside of the chassis, placed strategically where the driver will least expect it.

If Sebastian Vettel (the current world champion) can navigate that and win the race, then the crowds will come back for the thrill. Formula 1 will become the most thrilling spectator sport in the world.

China searches for its soul

If you are a Sinophile, this is old news and you don't want to read about this anymore; if you are not, this may be new to you. Little Wang Yue, affectionately called Yueyue is dead. She was only 2.

Yueyue, a toddler, wandered on to a road in Foshan, a southern Chinese city and was hit by a vehicle. A security camera filmed the whole scene. 18 passerbys saw her lying in a pool of blood, but walked on and did nothing to help her. The driver who hit her, drove on. Yet another vehicle hit her as she was lying injured. Finally a noble lady, a rag picker, Chen Xianmei, came to help her. Yueyue was taken to hospital. But she slipped into a coma and died.

China is going through a bout of soul searching. The security video that filmed the whole grisly thing has gone on the Net. Weibo, the Chinese equivalent of Twitter (Twitter is still banned in China), has millions of messages bemoaning what happened. China is asking itself the question - has materialism and money become so domineering that human values have taken a backseat ?

The driver of the first vehicle who hit her, has allegedly said (not entirely corroborated) that if the victim dies, he would only have to pay 20,000 yuan, whereas if she had survived, he would have to pay her medical costs for life.What about the 18 passerbys who looked and walked on and did nothing to help a 2 year old lying critically injured. What makes a human being do that ?

Part of it is the so called Peng Yu effect. In a famous case in Nanjing, a good samaritan called Peng Yu helped an old woman who had been injured in a bus stop. He even took her to hospital. For his labours, he was sued by the woman and a stupid judge ordered that Peng Yu must pay 40% of her medical bills (the learned idiot ruled that Peng Yu would not have stopped to help unless he caused her to be injured). Similar cases have happened. People have faked injuries in order to be able to sue the person who came to help. 

Money is God and undoubtedly the dominant religion in China. But that does not mean that the society has lost its human values. Far from it. Chinese can be the most affectionate and friendly of people. I know it from personal experience. One case does not typify Chinese society. But it certainly must trigger, as it has, a bout of soul searching.

Not just in China, but everywhere else in the world. Alas what happened to Yueyue would happen in many countries in the world. Including my own. People will turn their faces and keep going and do nothing to help.  But there will also be a Chen Xianmei, who will stop and assist. Usually it is the poorer sections of the society who will be more ready to help. If somebody is lying injured on the road, the BMW will slow down to look, but is more than likely to drive off. It is the pavement dweller or the homeless, happening to be around, who will rush to help.

Sorry Yueyue. The world did not care for you. Your family  may not believe in religion, but I do hope there is a God somewhere who has taken you in His arms.

Storm in an ice cream cup

Schweddy Balls ice cream is brewing up a storm. It has caught the ire of One Million Moms, who are protesting about it. Wow !

Ben & Jerry's seems to be the flavour of the month on this blog. They are the lot who are churning our a limited edition Schweddy Balls ice cream, which they claim has risen to the top of the charts - presumably charts exist for ice cream flavours too.  Apparently it is "fudge covered rum balls" , whatever that means. Schweddy Balls is a take on a Saturday Night Live skit (a television show in the US). An innuendo laced old skit aired on that programme has the "memorable" tag line - no one can resist my Schweddy Balls.

On Million Moms is some obscure conservative organisation based in Mississippi of all places. They are up in arms. They say the language is unsuitable for children. They have forced some supermarket chains not to carry Schweddy Balls and are petitioning the company to stop the production. Little wonder Ben & Jerry's is revelling in the publicity and refusing to do anything of the sort. I thought motherhood was a pretty taxing full time job - are One Million Moms having enough idle time to be protesting about some trivial stuff ?

B&J of course has a long history of quirky names. The initial lot were simply just that; quirky  - Chunky Monkey, Cherry Garcia and the like. They seem to happily coexist with the more prosaic Banana Split and Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Presumably uncolourful lot like me would prefer Chocolate, but a breezy sulo would want Bonnaroo Buzz !  But then they graduated to Karamel Sutra, which was apparently lapped up by the kilo litre. They had a Chubby Hubby flavour, which was fair enough considering that most hubbies in real life are fairly chubby, if not downright tubby. But when same sex marriages were sort of in the news, out came  Hubby Hubby. 

Perhaps Hopfrog or J or Deepa, who have access to the miracles of modern day indulgences can pronounce on the relative merits of Schweddy Balls vs Karamel Sutra vs Hubby Hubby !

Ah ; what a storm in an ice cream cup.